Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Bad Day Blessing

Today has been a bad day that culminated in a horrible evening. My whiny two-year old wouldn't stop crying. My two-month old woke up after a 30 minute nap and wanted to be held.
 
This evening I yelled at my son when he yelled NO at me and hit me with his fist. I sat him in the corner where he and cried and cried and cried while I tried to feed a crying baby. Finally I had enough. I set her in her crib (fortunately, she was happy at that point) and carried my sobbing son up the stairs, changed him into his pajamas and put him on his bed. Then I told him that I couldn't handle him right now and I shut his door and went to my room and sobbed to the Lord.

I knew that part of his behavior was a reflection of my behavior. I really needed a nap today and wasn't able to take one because the baby was fussy. That just put me on edge for the evening. I opened up the Psalms and tried to find something to calm me down. I can't remember what I read, it was somewhere around Psalm 80, but I did get some calmness out of it.

Then I heard my son sobbing my name. That just melted my heart. I went in to him and picked him up and just hugged him as I rocked in the chair. I told him that I was sorry I yelled at him and I was sorry I got frustrated, and that I love him. He then told me that he was happy. I asked him why he was happy and he told me that he was happy because he had his mommy. I think at that point my heart pooled on the floor.

I sang him a song that I could barely choke out for the tears in my throat, and put him back into bed. I prayed with him and told him I love him and left the room again; only this time, it was with a joyful heart instead of a tearful one.