Sunday, December 5, 2010

When I Grow Up . . .

Do you ever feel like you are not grown up? Or look at your children and think you are not old enough to have kids? I do. I'm 34 years old and sometimes I still feel like I'm an immature teen playing at being an adult.
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and wondered when I would grow up. When I would feel like an adult. When my life would seem real, and not like I fell down the rabbit hole.
My life is very real. I have bills to pay, children to raise, a house to clean, groceries to buy and a table at which to feed my family. Yet, I still wonder when it will feel real and not like I am playing house.
As we were decorating the house for Christmas, I had a thought that my life seemed kind of surreal. Here I was, all grown up, a house of my own, a husband and two little kids; and yet, I didn't feel like I was an adult.
I'm not sure when I will feel like I've grown up. I'm just going to enjoy each day, especially this Christmas season, where we celebrate the birth of Jesus. I'm enjoying seeing it with fresh eyes, though my children. I need to remember to enjoy the life that God has blessed me with, and, whether I feel adult or not, maybe I can have a child-like heart and a new perspective.