Saturday, March 19, 2011

At The End

I screamed today.  A fact that I am not very proud of, but feel that I need to confess.
My just-turned-four-year-old sat on my bed, doing his whiny cry, and I stood there and screamed at the top of my lungs. I was so frustrated with him, all I could do was scream. And that was the second time within about five minutes that I screamed.
Now, I did not yell at him, because I know that just makes matters worse (been there, done that), but I did scream out in frustration. He would not stop his whiny, drooly, attitude-ridden, cry. It started when he woke up and had continued on pretty much all day. I was (am) at the end of my rope. So I screamed.
A few minutes later, I apologized for my frustration, and gave him hugs. I also asked him to apologize for his attitudes and I forgave him. I told him that we both needed some time out to have a quiet time and get our attitudes straight.
I meant to pray with him, but somewhere in all of the frustratedness, I forgot. Lord, help me remember next time.
Lately, I have sensed the Lord telling me I need to work on my emotions in regards to my children. I tend to get very irritated at them. I know he wants me to be gentle, kind, compassionate, and patient with my kids. In a word, LOVE. It isn't an easy journey, but every day I feel I am making progress. Except maybe for today. Tomorrow will be better.