Saturday, February 4, 2012

31 Weeks

I have really been enjoying this pregnancy.  I have been fortunate enough to not have any morning sickness, which I did with my first two pregnancies.  I actually look pregnant this time around as well.
I love feeling my baby move around all the time.  He gets hiccups a lot; it cracks me up.
The strange part is, I am kind of dreading the end of pregnancy, because that means I will have a baby on my hands to take care of.
Most women love infants, the smell of a baby head, the way they just sleep all the time, just getting to hold them and snuggle with them.  That's nice, but...I don't particularly enjoy the first three months of my baby's life.  I am sleep deprived and struggling to get to know this strange person who has entered my life.
I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights.  I get frustrated when the baby cries and I can't figure out what is wrong.  Breastfeeding frustrates me as well; I did not have an enjoyable experience breastfeeding either of my kids.
This time around I will have a two year old and a five year old as well.  I feel like I am not equipped to handle the two kids I have much less adding a third to the mix.  I get easily frustrated with my kids and often find myself saying things in a tone that I hate.  Their whining gets on my nerves and then I seem unable to think straight.  How will I be able to handle a screaming infant on top of that?
Seek the LORD and his strength. Always look to him.  1 Chronicles 16:11
These are the things I think of while I am waiting for the baby to come.  I have two months left of my final pregnancy.  I want to take full advantage of them and enjoy the time I have left with this baby where I can almost effortlessly take care of him.