Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Uptight Mom

Not only am I a fearful mom, I am an uptight mom.  Some of the most relaxed moms I know have multiple kids; the more kids, the more relaxed the mom seems to be.  One would hope that with the advent of our third child, I would learn to be a little more relaxed (so far, that hasn't happened!).

By "uptight" I mean that I often feel as if I am constantly monitoring my kids.  I'm always telling them not to do something: don't take the pillows off the couch, don't throw that toy, get off of your sister, don't pull your brother's hair...

I hate the way I sound.  My kids probably do as well.

Sometimes I find myself telling my kids not to do something and then I wonder why I even said it.  Does it really matter if they dump all the toys out of the toy box?  I think the reason I don't want them to make a mess is because I don't want to deal with the headache of getting them to clean up.  But isn't that part of being a parent?  I have to keep reminding myself that I am raising my children to be competent adults.

But back to being uptight.  I just need to relax and let my kids be kids.  Because, while I am training them to be competent adults, they are still kids and need to be kids.  So what if they make a mess?  Life is messy.  So what if they break one of their toys?  It's a good moment to teach them to take care of their belongings.  If they hurt each other by fighting...well, there is a valuable lesson there, as well.
So how do I relax and let the kids be kids?  I'm trying not to be an uptight mom by determining whether or not what my kids are doing is really going to matter in the long run.  I'll stop them from banging on the window with a toy, but banging on the carpet?  Why not?  I'll ask myself, "Does it really matter?"  If it isn't going to hurt some one or some thing, I should let it happen.  Just because I am inconvenienced doesn't mean I should stop my kids from playing.
So, here's to relaxing a little and letting my kids be kids.