Thursday, August 4, 2016

Secrets of a Homeschool Mom

We started school this week. I am only two days in and I'm completely frustrated, worn out, and wondering why in the world I do this. (I'll tell you why, because I believe it is best for my children, because I want to get them grounded in Christ and the Bible and in who they are in Christ before I send them into the world.)

As I start this week, all of the doubts, fears, and issues I have with myself come back to haunt me with a vengeance.

1. I am constantly second guessing my decision to homeschool, and I feel like everyone is also questioning whether or not I am good enough to teach my children.

2. I feel inadequate. All. The. Time.

3. I am always under pressure to teach my kids more and have them know more than other kids their ages.

4. When my kids are "behind" others their age, I feel like a failure.

5. I feel like a failure most of the time.

6. I'm not homeschooling my kids because I want to spend all of my time with them. In fact, I am often envious of moms who's kids go to traditional schools.

7. If I am a good homeschool mom, I am a horrible house keeper. If I am a good house keeper, I'm a horrible wife. If I'm a good wife, I'm failing at homeschooling and house keeping. I always come up short.

8. I often feel isolated.

9. When someone questions an area of my child's knowledge and they come up lacking, it feels like a personal assault on me, and I lost.

10. Teaching my own children is the most frustrating thing I have ever done. And I lose my temper rather frequently because of it.

So, there you have it. A glimpse into who I am as a homeschool mom. I probably will never say those things out loud to another person, especially someone who doesn't homeschool. But I think them, privately, all the time.