As I start this week, all of the doubts, fears, and issues I have with myself come back to haunt me with a vengeance.
1. I am constantly second guessing my decision to homeschool, and I feel like everyone is also questioning whether or not I am good enough to teach my children.
2. I feel inadequate. All. The. Time.
3. I am always under pressure to teach my kids more and have them know more than other kids their ages.
4. When my kids are "behind" others their age, I feel like a failure.
5. I feel like a failure most of the time.
6. I'm not homeschooling my kids because I want to spend all of my time with them. In fact, I am often envious of moms who's kids go to traditional schools.
7. If I am a good homeschool mom, I am a horrible house keeper. If I am a good house keeper, I'm a horrible wife. If I'm a good wife, I'm failing at homeschooling and house keeping. I always come up short.
8. I often feel isolated.
9. When someone questions an area of my child's knowledge and they come up lacking, it feels like a personal assault on me, and I lost.
10. Teaching my own children is the most frustrating thing I have ever done. And I lose my temper rather frequently because of it.
So, there you have it. A glimpse into who I am as a homeschool mom. I probably will never say those things out loud to another person, especially someone who doesn't homeschool. But I think them, privately, all the time.
