Kids Home Unexpectedly?

Copied from a homeschool group. It's a long read, but a good one! 

Oh, and one thought from me: homeschool doesn't look like traditional school at home. Focus on the basics, especially if you're new to this: read aloud, some fun math games, writing a letter or journal entry. Have fun with it.

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Friends, I suspect the reason why you’re dreading having your kids home for the forseeable future is because you give them 110% of your time, attention, and energy when you all are home together. You are dreading having them home with no breaks, because you just don’t have that kind of time, attention, and energy to give 24/7. And that’s okay! Additionally, kids are noisy, dramatic, often unreasonable, create chaos and clutter everywhere they go, and wreak havoc on plans and schedules. This can be super stressful for parents. Now add in the schooling part?!

The problem: that 110% attention, time, and energy given to your kids at home isn’t compatible with your needs. Their noise, clutter, commotion, and disruption of plans can stress YOUR sensory systems. The good news: they don’t NEED all that time and attention from you to feel loved and to do well.

Also, boredom is okay. It helps kids learn to try new things and use problem-solving skills.

Everyone has different levels of introversion and extraversion, and different levels of sensory tolerance. Take some time to observe yourself, your partner, and your kids.
•How much noise can you handle?
•How much clutter?
•How much touching?
•How much interaction?
•Does interaction drain you?
•How much down time do you usually need?
•Do you feel like it’s never enough?
•Are you good after a few minutes?
•What about your spouse or kids?

How do you recharge? I think most parents dreading kids home 24/7 for weeks have some needs not being met at home. Getting angry or frustrated is a natural response to the hard parts of parenting. It shows that you have an UNMET NEED, often for a recharge.

Home is for you, too. Don’t feel guilty about needing your space or your quiet. Don’t feel guilty about needing to go call a friend for the social interaction we aren’t getting (thanks, social distancing!). If you can parent and work with your spouse from a place of rest, recharged, your tolerance levels will be much better than when you are exhausted and depleted. The same for your other family members. Compromise is key, and trying to understand the extrovert or introvert needs of your family can help you all stay recharged and more tolerant of each other.

Changing your routine and way of doing things is never easy, but here are a few ideas that might get you started in the best direction for your family.

✓ Accept your needs and your family’s needs. You are the way you are for a reason. Taking the correct break for you, will make you all more able to be the best “you” possible.

✓ Create a routine. It doesn’t have to be a minute-by-minute schedule, just a “parade of daily events” that can help give consistency and boundaries. Don’t try to replicate a classroom school day, even if your kids are skyping into school or doing online classes.

✓ Make some space for rest. Maybe quiet time with an audiobook or independent reading for an hour. Extroverted kids might want to pair up and sit together for a quiet activity. Introverted kids might need their own space away from everyone else.

✓ Think about earlier bedtimes. Kids tend to wake up early anyway. Let them get some more rest, and give yourself some more time at night to relax.

✓ First thing in the morning, ask your kids to come say good morning and give them a long, 1-2 min hug (or until they pull away themselves). No one has been “touched out" yet, and everyone will feel loved and loving first thing.

✓ Take some time for your needs. No thinking about what needs to be done, who needs what, how the schedule needs to change, etc. Step outside, take some deep breaths, and enjoy the fresh air. Go to your room and really savor a piece of chocolate. Make some tea or coffee, then sit and drink it, no rush. Take a nap, a bath, or a long shower. Go for a walk, a run, or do a workout. Listen to a song that makes you happy. Take 5 min to do yoga or meditate. Practice some mindfulness exercises or pray. Skype or Facetime with a friend. Create something and share it. Call a friend and do something together, over the phone.

✓ Introverts can simply sit and listen to an extrovert who needs to vent. Extroverts can respect that an introvert needs alone time, and remind themselves that alone time helps an introvert process things better.

✓ Arguments and meltdowns might mean someone needs more alone time than they are getting.

✓ Everyone doesn’t have to be happy all the time. Life has inevitable ups and downs, and it’s okay to process them according to your temperament. Just look for hope, forgive yourself and others when things don’t go right, and try again tomorrow. Try to find the humor in each day.

It takes time to figure out being home all the time with everyone. Be patient, focus on figuring out how you all work together and what needs you have for being apart. Put those relationship goals above the to-do lists. Give it time, slow down, and change things that aren’t working. Your kids can, and will learn from home. This quarantine/social distancing could be a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. There are tons of good resources out there and a lot of homeschooling communities who are happy to help during this time.

A word of caution: please remember many homeschoolers have been often questioned and ridiculed about their decision to school from home. Don't get defensive, but instead try to be understanding and respectful of their experience and advice.