Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Husband Rant

How do you talk about your husband?  Do you vent about him to your friends?  Or do you make your friends jealous by bragging about what a wonderful husband you have?  Does your husband have complete confidence in you?  When you and your husband have an argument in the morning, does he think that your best friend knows of it by noon?

 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 (NASB)
Every time I talk with a specific friend, she complains about her husband in some way.  This makes me very uncomfortable and I try to change the subject as soon as I possibly can.  By her telling me her husband's flaws, my estimation of him gets knocked down a peg each time, whether I want it to or not (by the way, my estimation of her also gets knocked down a peg).  "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." (KJV)  The word for corrupt in Greek means rotten, or worthless.  It is rotten and worthless to say negative things about your husband. There is no point, other than making you feel better because you can vent.  Unless you are venting to God or to your husband, you are venting to the wrong person.
When you speak ill of your husband, it is as if you are airing your dirty laundry for all the world to see.  You are uncovering your husband, exposing his flaws, when you should be preserving his dignity.  "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (NIV)  Telling of your husband's flaws does not build him up; it tears him down.
I want my friends to think I have a wonderful husband (which I do, by the way).  Whenever I talk about him, I want my words to be encouraging, to be a blessing, to be gracious.  "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." (NLT)
All marriages have rough patches.  Every wife gets irritated with her husband.  However, this does not give you leave to be disrespectful of him.  If you have a problem with your husband, go to him!  Pray that God will 1) help you see if you are in the wrong and 2) give you respectful words to figure out how to solve the problem.  If you need advice on how to handle a situation, go talk to a mentor woman who has your complete confidence; but I warn you, make sure your heart is in the right spot, because if it isn't, you may not like what she has to say about your attitude and heart condition.
"Let no filthy talk be heard from your mouths, but only what is good for building up people and meeting the need of the moment. This way you will administer grace to those who hear you." (ISV)
I challenge you (and myself): the next time you want to vent to your friend about your husband, instead, say something that builds him up and makes him look good in her eyes.  He may never know that you said he is a wonderful husband, but she will.  And so will you.