Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Marriage Wrecker

I sat uncomfortably at the table with the two other moms I had just met. They were talking about their husbands. One was flippantly saying how she is always threatening to leave her husband. The other wondered why her husband always "smelled like butt" at the end of the day.
I had no idea what to say. They were silently asking for me to laugh at what they were saying, but I couldn't. I mean, what they were saying was making me squirm in the tiny toddler chair I was perching on. I didn't know these women, nor their husbands, and I didn't need to know these very personal flaws within 30 minutes of meeting them. I felt like I was seeing into a private life that should be kept private.



Ladies, when you flippantly complain about your husband, you are doing a disservice to yourself, to your husband, and to your marriage. I understand that you are trying to be funny, trying to connect with other women, trying to find common ground that is seemingly inconsequential, because, after all, every husband has his little faults.
But I am telling you to stop. Marriages are under attack, and Satan does not need your help in undermining your own marriage. I understand that there are irritations in marriage that you feel like you just need to get out. I have those too. But you do not need to get them out like verbal vomit to every person you meet.
Ladies, what we need to do is to encourage each other in our marriages. Yes, there are irritations. Yes, there are problems. Are you contributing to those problems by bandying them about like jokes? Problems in marriage are not a joke, they are serious, and I, for one, want to help my marriage, not hinder it, by building up my husband in front of other women, not tearing him down.
Here are some of my thoughts on how to build up your marriage. If you have more, please add them in the comments!
  • Most important: spend time in the Bible every day. I know it can be difficult, but you can MAKE time.
  • Pray for your husband.
  • Pray with your husband.
  • Determine only to speak good of him around acquaintances.
  • Determine to speak any negative about your husband to one trusted female friend who can give you Godly counsel and will encourage you in building up your marriage.
Marriage is hard enough. Support your friends' marriages. Support your own marriage. Let's decide to build up the foundation of our homes by building up our husbands.
Note: if you are having serious problems in your marriage, please find Godly counsel. Do not stay in a situation that is harmful, but seek help. Seek God. God is the only one who can change hearts.